WeWriWa/Snippet Sunday 08/04/2013 #8sunday #snipsun

Hope you guys are enjoying the story thus far.  Sorry, I missed last week… again.  I had to compress a couple sentences to make it eight, but here’s the next installment…

The witch who’d held me and David made certain to take away any comfort we might have.  Which was why she exchanged my soft gown for rough, itchy peasant’s clothes, fed me food I wasn’t entirely certain was edible, gave me a cot too short and narrow for even my petite frame, and never bothered with a fire even though winter rapidly approached.  I also suspected rats, fleas and God only knew what else resided in those terrible, almost lightless dungeons.

As I staggered behind young David, who was now dragging me through the woods, I smiled weakly at the boy’s natural ebullience and charm.  He would bounce back from this as if it never happened.  Me, not so much.  I wasn’t sure how long I’d been gone but, I’d lost a startling amount of weight.  I was afraid to eventually look at myself in a mirror,  afraid a skeleton would stare back.

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  • It is very good. I’m curious too as to why she took them, but there are a lot of nuts in this world. Look how many take children in real life?

    History Sleuth’s Milk Carton Murders

  • Forrest–you have touched a nerve with me. Child abuse, neglect, starvation…these are all in my background. And you have shown the reader the cruelties through the eyes of the victim. Well done.

    • A

      Well, I was never physically abused, but I’ve known people who were, both physically and sexually. Abuse is a terrible thing. But I think what’s probably the most tragic is the type that gets completely ignored. People shout out about physical and sexual abuse, but ignore verbal abuse entirely. It can shred a child’s psyche without a bruise to speak evidence of it. It can do so much more damage, and yet no one cares. Have you seen what happens to people with that type of background? It isn’t their bones that get broken, but their minds.

  • I do love a story where the main characters suffer horrible torments. It must be the Jane Eyre lover in me. Nice job!

    • A

      And I love writing characters with flaws. Maybe a little too much, really. I have another story in the works where the MC has PTSD and was sexually abused as a child. In yet another, she was neglected as a child, and tried to commit suicide by walking in front of an SUV…

  • Great description. She has a lot to be worried about.

  • I loved the way you thought out all the details, glad they’re escaping! Excellent excerpt!

    • A

      I’m a sucker for details. In fact, I have been known to goof off by researching. Once, I spent a ridiculous amount of time on WedMD reading patient comments on the side effects of Haldol. I found it annoying that all the sites I went to listed all the side effects possible, but nobody’s going to get all the side effects.

  • Wonderful description. I’m curious to know why they’re being held captive.

  • Great visuals. Now why had they been captured?

  • burnsmillie

    David is such a little sweetie. I hope they get far enough away from where they were being held. Nice eight!

  • Very visual. And it makes me wonder why the witch held them. And is she considerably older than the boy who seems to be rescuing her.

    I’m not asking for answers. Just letting you know that your snippet is good and has inspired me to read more. I’ll be back. 🙂

    • A

      Thank you. You know, I’m not sure I ever actually give her age in the book.

      I’m glad you felt inspired, and I encourage you to come back. I am really going to try to keep to doing this weekly. Life keeps getting in the way. I’m so bad. Seems like lately I’ve been on the every other week plan…

  • I’m really curious to know why they were being held — you’ve really drawn me into this.

Let me know what you think...