I’m really trying to be on the ball this weekend. I’m heading to my parents’ house this weekend, and for some odd reason, I never seem to touch the computer when I do so. I will be checking my computer Sunday evening, so I probably won’t respond to any comments until then. Hope you enjoy.
The man’s steps seemed to echo through the trees, ominous and devastating.
My legs shook from the hours of running and walking, my feet choosing that moment to throb sharply. I will not cry. I will not cry, I chanted to myself as hopelessness valiantly tried overtaking me and heat overcame my face. I would not give up. I would not fail David that way. Right now, I was all he had. How would he ever get home if I… I didn’t let myself finish the thought.
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14 comments
Gem Sivad
Determination tinged with real panic and fear. I felt all three. Great job!
P.T. Wyant
Excellent description of her body’s physical reaction to the exertion and fear.
forrestdl@gmail.com
Well, I’ve certainly been there before. I mean, not running for my life or hiding from people in the woods like that, but fear, adrenaline, fatigue. Been there.
Linda Hamonou
He won’t find them. They will be ok, because she didn’t give up yet.
veronicascott
I like her sheer determination, which comes through clearly in the excerpt. Terrific snippet!
raynegolay
A woman on a mission with a clear purpose. God snippet.
sharonbuchbinder
This gal epitomizes HEROINE. Gr8t!!
forrestdl@gmail.com
Heroine. I hadn’t really thought of her as a heroine. But I like writing people who are damaged, and I always think of heroes as perfect.
Willa Blair
Very intense. Great job!
burnsmillie
Oh, I’m holding my breath right now…
Susan Schiller
You’ve described a very intense scene… the shaking, throbbing legs… and the feeling of desperation. I’m rooting for her… I hope you share more next weekend 🙂
forrestdl@gmail.com
Thanks, and glad to hear you rooting for her. Glad to know I’ve really hit this first part of the book real solid.
sarahballance
This excerpt is soooo intense. I can really feel its heaviness. Nicely done!
forrestdl@gmail.com
Thanks. I love writing intense stuff. I can’t do sappy, so…