WeWriWa/Snippet Sunday 09/01/2013 #8sunday #snippetsunday

I’m so tired.  My neighbor started blasting his music at midnight, which actually vibrates the walls of my townhouse.  I swear.  My old neighbor, who liked to host parties on Friday and Saturday nights, was not this loud.  Ever.  I called in a noise complaint about a half hour later, but the noise didn’t stop until quite recently (It’s 2am now, FYI).  Ah, blessed silence.  Now I can sleep.

And sorry about not getting to responding to comments from last week yet.  I haven’t been on my computer all week.  This is actually the first time I’ve touched my computer since last Thursday.  I actually have a slew of things I have to tackle.  I suspect they’ll just have to wait until tomorrow…

I’m dead.

He automatically directed himself at the sob but paused, realizing he would likely only terrify whatever poor creature hid in the dark.  He re-sheathed his blade and continued his slow progress toward where he heard the sob.  He saw a shadow slip down against a tree and made his way toward it, reaching his hands out placatingly in front of him.  “I will not hurt you,” he said, but the startled creature scrambled further into the shadows.  “Allow me to help you.”

A sweet, high-pitched voice, that of a young boy, broke the silence of the forest.  “Don’t be afraid, Amara.”  The shadowed creature — or more like creatures he realized, suspecting this Amara was the young boy’s mother — started to squirm and eventually part of it dislodged and walked out of the shadows, a boy of maybe five.  “Hello!  My name’s David!”

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  • Ah I knew he wasn’t a bad guy… at least I hope he didn’t lie here.

  • burnsmillie

    I agree with PT, took me a minute to figure out the differing POV, but now that I have, glad he’s not as scary as I thought he’d be : ) At least, I think he’s not…

  • The POV change from the last snippet left me a bit confused, but that is most likely less abrupt in the actual book. I love David’s confidence, by the way.

    • A

      There was a scene change which didn’t get included since it was between this week’s snippet and last. Sorry for the confusion. It didn’t occur to me that people would notice with seven days between. Again, sorry.

  • Perhaps you can be more clear in the sentence “directed himself at the sob” and perhaps change to something like “directed himself toward the sob.” It is a very intriguing snippet. I look forward to following this story. Thank you.

    • A

      Your comment has been noted in the manuscript. Thanks. Knowing me, I’ll probably end up completely rewording the entire thing. I’ve certainly done it before…

  • I got a teensy bit confused at the “more like creatures” part, probably just me and the earliness of the hour still! But I’m intrigued by the excerpt and I like the way your hero wants to help.

    • A

      And it could be it really isn’t clear. It’s a first draft, so there’s bound to be some odd spots. Thanks for the comment. I’ve added in a note in the manuscript to take a look at it later.

  • Karen Michelle Nutt

    I’m intrigued to know more about the character with the blade and the boy who felt the need to hide in the shadows. Great 8!

  • It must have taken a lot of courage for the little boy to come out from hiding. 🙂 Good 8 🙂

    • A

      Well, you know little boys. There’s no telling how they’re react. Some will cower in fear, clinging to their mothers’ skirts while others will go straight out and greet the danger as if it wasn’t even there.

  • Will be interesting to see how the character with the blade reacts to the child.
    Nice 8.

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